Twas the night before Christmas and along the Cape Fear, children were wondering just how Santa gets here
"Can he land without snow?
And do reindeer like sand?"
"If our chimney's too small or clogged, will it expand?"
"Will a shark eat him up if he falls in the sea?"
"Will police think he's stealing from under our tree?"
And kids out in Wrightsville know this of their town --
Santa won't get there if the bridge isn't down.
But rest easy, kids! I have answers for all!
The forecast looks good, with nary a squall.
Read on for more, but I'm thinking we're good --
Santa will surely make it to our 'hood.
But what if my house doesn't have a chimney?!
If you live in a house in Wilmington, chances are you do. There are 31,401 single-family and 867 multi-family homes in the city, according to John Fullerton, Wilmington's zoning administrator, and the majority of them are outfitted with chimneys.
"I'm taking 80 percent of that total," Fullerton said, "which gives us 25,814 chimneys."
But if you live in a house or apartment without one, don't worry -- Santa always seems to find a way in. Local locksmiths say they've never -- not once! -- had to open a door for the man in red.
"It doesn't happen, because he is magic," said Scott Cheatham, owner and locksmith at Island Lock And Key in Wilmington and Carolina Beach. "Santa has the keys to the kingdom."
But what if my chimney is all stopped up?!
Chimneys should be "inspected at least once a year for soundness, freedom from deposit and correct clearances," according to the National Fire Protection Association. Locally, chimney-sweeping businesses sometimes see an uptick in appointment requests around the holidays, though it's hard to say for sure whether that's due to concern about Santa's passage.
"The thing about being an adult is, maybe they wouldn't outright say that's what caused it," said Ron Segars Sr., owner of Ron's Fireside Shop in Wilmington. "A kid might point out that the chimney is dirty. I think that's what would spur it, but I don't think an adult would share that."
Clogged chimneys are pretty nasty -- lined with "a gooey, black, shiny, tarry substance," Segars said -- and in most cases it probably wouldn't be possible to dislodge the gunk with a boot. But Santa will get in there somehow -- after 40 years in the chimney business, Segars has never had to repair a Claus-shattered chimney or rescue Santa from a clogged one.
"Not once," he said.
But what if the airport doesn't know he's coming and thinks he's a rogue plane?!
Santa gets permission before he flies the coastal skies, according to Jon Rosborough, director of Wilmington International Airport.
"He just comes by and gets clearance, because he has to fly through our airspace," Rosborough said. "Everyone that does must have permission."
He doesn't always visit at the same time, Rosborough said, but the air-traffic controllers are trained to note the difference between a sleigh and an airplane on their radar.
"He tries to come at approximately the same time, but he could get held up depending on what he's dropping off at different places around the world," Rosborough said. "We have very highly skilled air-traffic controllers that can differentiate between the real thing and not."
But what if the police see him and think he's robbing my house?!
Technically, Santa's big night is all about breaking and entering, but local law enforcement grant him -- and only him -- a pass.
"He's good to go," said Sgt. J.J. Brewer with the New Hanover County Sheriff's Office. "We have an understanding."
But can reindeer even survive in North Carolina?!
Technically, reindeer aren't allowed within state lines, as the N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission has a firm statewide ban on the importation of non-native animals. But Santa's reindeer are a special case, according to Geoff Cantrell, a spokesman for the agency.
"I spoke to the director just a moment ago," he said. "The reindeer are only landing on rooftops. They are not stepping foot onto terra firma, and so they have been given a waiver. Our director Gordon Myers has been in communication with Santa and has provided the proper exceptions -- Santa has the paperwork to enter North Carolina."
Reindeer are part of the caribou family, which also includes the white-tailed deer native to North Carolina, said Evan Stanford, deer biologist with the commission. They're native to the Arctic Circle, which means they're not used to our much-warmer temperatures. Long-term, reindeer probably wouldn't do too well here, but for a quick visit, they should be fine -- with plenty to snack on.
"We don't have snow, so our grass will be available for browsing," said Dr. Stephen Anderson, veterinarian at Paws & Claws Animal Hospital in Wilmington. "I'm sure they also enjoy the carrots people leave for them. It's one of those things that kind of falls not in their natural diet, but is still tasty and provides a little nutrition."
But what if the Wrightsville Beach drawbridge traps Santa on the mainland -- or the island?!
Town officials are prepared for that.
"He has a special pass because he's Santa Claus," said Town Manager Tim Owens. "Anytime he needs to call me on my cell phone, we'll go pick him up in a fire truck."
But what if Santa crash lands in the ocean?!
He probably won't. The forecast for Christmas Eve in Wilmington is calm and cool, with only slight winds of between 5- to 10-mph, said Brad Reinhart, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Wilmington.
But if he did make a water landing, there'd be no dangerous sea life to greet him.
"Right now, the animals in our coastal waters are humpback whales and right whales," said Ann Pabst, co-director of the state's Marine Mammal Stranding Program and a biology and marine biology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington. "Off Cape Hatteras, there are minke whales, fin whales and sperm whales. None of them eat people. These would be animals he could just meet while he is here -- none would post any threat at all."
Technically, those mammals are protected species, meaning it's illegal to come within 1,500 feet of any of them. But if Santa needed to make an emergency landing, it's doubtful he'd get fined.
"Santa might get an exception from the National Oceanic and Atmospsheric Administration," Pabst said.
Santa would also be unlikely to encounter Mary Lee, a great white shark outfitted with a tracking device who frequents the coastal waters off Southeastern North Carolina. According to her tracking map, Mary Lee's currently hanging out farther south, near Savannah, Ga. The shark was unavailable for comment, but reports suggest she prefers to snack on fish rather than jolly old men.
Kate Elizabeth Queram: 343-2217
On Twitter: @kate_goes_bleu
Copyright 2013 - Star-News, Wilmington, N.C.
